. . . . And We're Back

Well. Then. That was longer than expected. I'm not going to try to fill in the gaps, because outside of family and friends, I'm nto sure who might read this. On to today's thoughts: Nutella is good not only at, but for, every meal. That is all for now.

it's about time . . .

It's been a while since I've written anything - not just here, but anywhere. I haven't journalled in months, haven't even scratched down some interesting rhymes in a while.


And it looks like it'll be another while before I write anything else of substance . . . procrastinators unite!


tomorrow

hi

i wish i knew why, but every day i seem to restart at 0, where no matter what i did the day before, no matter how great and glorious it was, it doesn't really have a carry over to the next day.

it's raining out right now - i think. the wind is making its presence felt. i love change, love the constant motion of wind. i think it might be my favorite thing in the world. maybe that's why i approach each day like a new challenge - i need to. i need to know that it is different from yesterday.

i think it was c s lewis who said that God created seasons for two reasons - because we love both constancy and change. hmmm. constant cyclical change. i like it. breaks the monotony with a non monotonous routine. clever.

we're planning on heading to ontario in the fall, and i can't wait :) liss has never seen ontario, and i haven't been there in the fall since 2007, so i'm stoked . . .

about time to update . . .

So . . .

I feel and urge to write, but without really knowing about what yet. Usually when this happens, I rant about something, and usually it's got something to do with Christianity.

I wonder if Jesus would go to a church and call people there His. I get the feeling he would at Abundant Life, my community. I'm not saying this because I'm biased and think my friends and family here are so much better than everyone else I've met. I say it because it is the best example I've seen to date of a group of people honestly trying to be Jesus to the world around them.

Now, too often this looks like merely evangelizing. You know what? That word has been bastardized for far too long. Evangelism, evangelical, evangelizing - only sometimes does it require words. I mean, we all fully believe the adage that actions speak louder than words, right? So why the emphasis in certain circles of evangelical thought on making sure your presentation of the gospel follows these steps?

Are there actually steps to following Jesus? Did he really lay out the 5 principles of discipleship, the 7 steps to salvation, the 43 and a half marks or a true believer?

Or have we lost our imagination? Jesus says follow me, and we have no idea what that means outside of our own construct . . . or maybe we do, and it's too dangerous, and so we make a safe way to follow Christ where we can still buy $200 jeans and $100 shades without thinking once about the injustice of our extravagance. Hey, as long as we prayed a prayer once, our eternity is secure . . .

Well, that's debatable. But not here or now. Picture something with me - I'm dating this girl [which is actually a much easier picture than it has been. Her name's Alissa ;)]. I ask this girl to marry me. She says yes. I'm asked why I love her, and my response is this :

"Because one day we'll be married and I can have all the sex I want"

Well.

There are several things wrong with this thought, not the least of which is how unlikely I am to be able to demand sex whenever. What I really want to focus on is how unloving that is - I only love her for what she provides for me . . . not who she is, not what she is passionate about, not her laugh or her smile or her wit. Just her body. She is a means to an end.

When we focus so much on the belief that we will spend eternity in some form of better existence, and ignore what God is passionate about right here, right now, does He feel any less used?

And are we any less unloving?

Oh love

So. I met this girl. She pretty much rocks. Asher and I have this standing agreement that if I screw this up, he is to shoot me :)

She's got a wonderful heart for Jesus, a cute smile, the best laugh. She loves Star Wars and salted licorice candy. I am big and she is small, and even though my paws are twice the size of her little hands, she makes me feel safe.

It's not often that I feel danger. But there IS that danger that when you start to open yourself up to someone, they'll reject you. They won't like who you are, or how you present who you are.

Not so. At least, not so far . . . and I have this sneaking suspicion that not at all. Ever. With her. Which, really, is what relationships are all about, right? Trust.

Oh, you precious commodity. Oh trust. Oh love. Welcome back, my dear old friends . . .

Redemptive violence . . .

Now that Osama bin-Laden is dead, the world is a much safer place. As with all the deaths of tyrants and terrorists and villains throughout the ages, his passing has left the rest of us feeling more at ease, much safer, and less in need of strict and invasive security measures when flying.

When Hitler was killed, did we not have 50 years of unmitigated peace and tensionless rest?

When Bundy was killed, did we not end the threat of serial killers and predators?

After Hussein was killed, didn't Iraq become a much better place overnight?

And who can forget that one time when we killed Joseph Kony, leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, and ushered in a new era of peace for central Africa?

I mean, sure, just because the last one hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it won't. Well, it probably won't. No one gives a shit about child soldiers, not when 400 million people have a personal vendetta against one man, not when there is a barbecue to have outside the prison where Bundy was fried, and certainly not while there is oil to pump from the Middle East. Oh, and not when there are white Europeans dying.

I feel so stupid sometimes. Obviously I don't understand cause and effect relationships. It is good to overthrow a dictator in Iraq to infuse democracy into the region, but it's also good to turn a blind eye to a dictator in Cambodia who kills millions? I mean, the country is known for KILLING FIELDS. COME ON.

And it is good to kill a man for essentially masterminding the deaths of around 3000 people . . . but to stamp out the cause of death of at LEAST 3000 people a DAY? Is THAT worthwhile?

See what I mean - the things that make sense to me seem to be fairly low priority.

But hey, Osama's dead. That shit should put food in the bellies of the malnourished, right? Good thing we did that one first. And in record time, too. I mean, it took far longer to apprehend Saddam . . .

Can I also, stupidly, take time to point out that BOTH men were once US allies? If this pattern keeps up, I think we as Canadians should rethink our ties to the south . . . ( http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,450997-2,00.html )

Ok. Enough sarcasm and satire for now. More than anything else, I am so very saddened by the mentality that violence can bring about good. Unless you're God and the violence involved is the death of Your Son, killing someone rarely has the intent you meant for it. Just ask the Pharisees. Just as killing Americans did NOT make the nation crumble as Osama thought it would, killing Osama will NOT make every young Muslim say, "Hey. This is stupid."

You don't beat violence with violence. You conquer it with something far greater . . .

kingdom come

sometimes i want to use words to say these things that i just . . . feel, inside, in that part of you that just intuitively knows stuff and thinks stuff. we call it the gut, and i'm sure other cultures have called it different things.

at any rate, music is really the only way i've found to even begin to convey what it is i think or sense of feel when i think or sense or feel what i'm trying to convey . . . convoluted, right? i'll try again.

i have this deep, abiding hope that all will work out in the end. i can't really articulate what i base this on, because it precedes anything i learned about God, but certainly He plays a central role in it. it's captured, a bit, by the benediction "and they lived happily ever after" . . . that we all learned so well as children and promptly forgot as adults because it didn't seem to fit into what we saw happening around us. what if they DO live happily ever after? what if i could be a part of they? is that too crazy? and what if happily ever after starts right here, right now, with the story we're all caught up in every day of our lives . . . ?

here are some links to songs that feel like what i'm trying to get across . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS7cz5jpPf8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5wOHIi7xCU&annotation_id=annotation_307340&feature=iv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hre5fkdq-0&feature=related (minus the little bit at the end - those who have seen the show know why it's there, but to me, for this blog, it's not part of the song that i treasure )

at any rate, i feel a little bit better get this out, because it IS something that feels like it needs to get out