It's been a while since I've written anything - not just here, but anywhere. I haven't journalled in months, haven't even scratched down some interesting rhymes in a while.
And it looks like it'll be another while before I write anything else of substance . . . procrastinators unite!
tomorrow
11.21.2011
8.15.2011
hi
i wish i knew why, but every day i seem to restart at 0, where no matter what i did the day before, no matter how great and glorious it was, it doesn't really have a carry over to the next day.
it's raining out right now - i think. the wind is making its presence felt. i love change, love the constant motion of wind. i think it might be my favorite thing in the world. maybe that's why i approach each day like a new challenge - i need to. i need to know that it is different from yesterday.
i think it was c s lewis who said that God created seasons for two reasons - because we love both constancy and change. hmmm. constant cyclical change. i like it. breaks the monotony with a non monotonous routine. clever.
we're planning on heading to ontario in the fall, and i can't wait :) liss has never seen ontario, and i haven't been there in the fall since 2007, so i'm stoked . . .
it's raining out right now - i think. the wind is making its presence felt. i love change, love the constant motion of wind. i think it might be my favorite thing in the world. maybe that's why i approach each day like a new challenge - i need to. i need to know that it is different from yesterday.
i think it was c s lewis who said that God created seasons for two reasons - because we love both constancy and change. hmmm. constant cyclical change. i like it. breaks the monotony with a non monotonous routine. clever.
we're planning on heading to ontario in the fall, and i can't wait :) liss has never seen ontario, and i haven't been there in the fall since 2007, so i'm stoked . . .
6.28.2011
about time to update . . .
So . . .
I feel and urge to write, but without really knowing about what yet. Usually when this happens, I rant about something, and usually it's got something to do with Christianity.
I wonder if Jesus would go to a church and call people there His. I get the feeling he would at Abundant Life, my community. I'm not saying this because I'm biased and think my friends and family here are so much better than everyone else I've met. I say it because it is the best example I've seen to date of a group of people honestly trying to be Jesus to the world around them.
Now, too often this looks like merely evangelizing. You know what? That word has been bastardized for far too long. Evangelism, evangelical, evangelizing - only sometimes does it require words. I mean, we all fully believe the adage that actions speak louder than words, right? So why the emphasis in certain circles of evangelical thought on making sure your presentation of the gospel follows these steps?
Are there actually steps to following Jesus? Did he really lay out the 5 principles of discipleship, the 7 steps to salvation, the 43 and a half marks or a true believer?
Or have we lost our imagination? Jesus says follow me, and we have no idea what that means outside of our own construct . . . or maybe we do, and it's too dangerous, and so we make a safe way to follow Christ where we can still buy $200 jeans and $100 shades without thinking once about the injustice of our extravagance. Hey, as long as we prayed a prayer once, our eternity is secure . . .
Well, that's debatable. But not here or now. Picture something with me - I'm dating this girl [which is actually a much easier picture than it has been. Her name's Alissa ;)]. I ask this girl to marry me. She says yes. I'm asked why I love her, and my response is this :
"Because one day we'll be married and I can have all the sex I want"
Well.
There are several things wrong with this thought, not the least of which is how unlikely I am to be able to demand sex whenever. What I really want to focus on is how unloving that is - I only love her for what she provides for me . . . not who she is, not what she is passionate about, not her laugh or her smile or her wit. Just her body. She is a means to an end.
When we focus so much on the belief that we will spend eternity in some form of better existence, and ignore what God is passionate about right here, right now, does He feel any less used?
And are we any less unloving?
I feel and urge to write, but without really knowing about what yet. Usually when this happens, I rant about something, and usually it's got something to do with Christianity.
I wonder if Jesus would go to a church and call people there His. I get the feeling he would at Abundant Life, my community. I'm not saying this because I'm biased and think my friends and family here are so much better than everyone else I've met. I say it because it is the best example I've seen to date of a group of people honestly trying to be Jesus to the world around them.
Now, too often this looks like merely evangelizing. You know what? That word has been bastardized for far too long. Evangelism, evangelical, evangelizing - only sometimes does it require words. I mean, we all fully believe the adage that actions speak louder than words, right? So why the emphasis in certain circles of evangelical thought on making sure your presentation of the gospel follows these steps?
Are there actually steps to following Jesus? Did he really lay out the 5 principles of discipleship, the 7 steps to salvation, the 43 and a half marks or a true believer?
Or have we lost our imagination? Jesus says follow me, and we have no idea what that means outside of our own construct . . . or maybe we do, and it's too dangerous, and so we make a safe way to follow Christ where we can still buy $200 jeans and $100 shades without thinking once about the injustice of our extravagance. Hey, as long as we prayed a prayer once, our eternity is secure . . .
Well, that's debatable. But not here or now. Picture something with me - I'm dating this girl [which is actually a much easier picture than it has been. Her name's Alissa ;)]. I ask this girl to marry me. She says yes. I'm asked why I love her, and my response is this :
"Because one day we'll be married and I can have all the sex I want"
Well.
There are several things wrong with this thought, not the least of which is how unlikely I am to be able to demand sex whenever. What I really want to focus on is how unloving that is - I only love her for what she provides for me . . . not who she is, not what she is passionate about, not her laugh or her smile or her wit. Just her body. She is a means to an end.
When we focus so much on the belief that we will spend eternity in some form of better existence, and ignore what God is passionate about right here, right now, does He feel any less used?
And are we any less unloving?
5.30.2011
Oh love
So. I met this girl. She pretty much rocks. Asher and I have this standing agreement that if I screw this up, he is to shoot me :)
She's got a wonderful heart for Jesus, a cute smile, the best laugh. She loves Star Wars and salted licorice candy. I am big and she is small, and even though my paws are twice the size of her little hands, she makes me feel safe.
It's not often that I feel danger. But there IS that danger that when you start to open yourself up to someone, they'll reject you. They won't like who you are, or how you present who you are.
Not so. At least, not so far . . . and I have this sneaking suspicion that not at all. Ever. With her. Which, really, is what relationships are all about, right? Trust.
Oh, you precious commodity. Oh trust. Oh love. Welcome back, my dear old friends . . .
She's got a wonderful heart for Jesus, a cute smile, the best laugh. She loves Star Wars and salted licorice candy. I am big and she is small, and even though my paws are twice the size of her little hands, she makes me feel safe.
It's not often that I feel danger. But there IS that danger that when you start to open yourself up to someone, they'll reject you. They won't like who you are, or how you present who you are.
Not so. At least, not so far . . . and I have this sneaking suspicion that not at all. Ever. With her. Which, really, is what relationships are all about, right? Trust.
Oh, you precious commodity. Oh trust. Oh love. Welcome back, my dear old friends . . .
5.14.2011
Redemptive violence . . .
Now that Osama bin-Laden is dead, the world is a much safer place. As with all the deaths of tyrants and terrorists and villains throughout the ages, his passing has left the rest of us feeling more at ease, much safer, and less in need of strict and invasive security measures when flying.
When Hitler was killed, did we not have 50 years of unmitigated peace and tensionless rest?
When Bundy was killed, did we not end the threat of serial killers and predators?
After Hussein was killed, didn't Iraq become a much better place overnight?
And who can forget that one time when we killed Joseph Kony, leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, and ushered in a new era of peace for central Africa?
I mean, sure, just because the last one hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it won't. Well, it probably won't. No one gives a shit about child soldiers, not when 400 million people have a personal vendetta against one man, not when there is a barbecue to have outside the prison where Bundy was fried, and certainly not while there is oil to pump from the Middle East. Oh, and not when there are white Europeans dying.
I feel so stupid sometimes. Obviously I don't understand cause and effect relationships. It is good to overthrow a dictator in Iraq to infuse democracy into the region, but it's also good to turn a blind eye to a dictator in Cambodia who kills millions? I mean, the country is known for KILLING FIELDS. COME ON.
And it is good to kill a man for essentially masterminding the deaths of around 3000 people . . . but to stamp out the cause of death of at LEAST 3000 people a DAY? Is THAT worthwhile?
See what I mean - the things that make sense to me seem to be fairly low priority.
But hey, Osama's dead. That shit should put food in the bellies of the malnourished, right? Good thing we did that one first. And in record time, too. I mean, it took far longer to apprehend Saddam . . .
Can I also, stupidly, take time to point out that BOTH men were once US allies? If this pattern keeps up, I think we as Canadians should rethink our ties to the south . . . ( http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,450997-2,00.html )
Ok. Enough sarcasm and satire for now. More than anything else, I am so very saddened by the mentality that violence can bring about good. Unless you're God and the violence involved is the death of Your Son, killing someone rarely has the intent you meant for it. Just ask the Pharisees. Just as killing Americans did NOT make the nation crumble as Osama thought it would, killing Osama will NOT make every young Muslim say, "Hey. This is stupid."
You don't beat violence with violence. You conquer it with something far greater . . .
When Hitler was killed, did we not have 50 years of unmitigated peace and tensionless rest?
When Bundy was killed, did we not end the threat of serial killers and predators?
After Hussein was killed, didn't Iraq become a much better place overnight?
And who can forget that one time when we killed Joseph Kony, leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, and ushered in a new era of peace for central Africa?
I mean, sure, just because the last one hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it won't. Well, it probably won't. No one gives a shit about child soldiers, not when 400 million people have a personal vendetta against one man, not when there is a barbecue to have outside the prison where Bundy was fried, and certainly not while there is oil to pump from the Middle East. Oh, and not when there are white Europeans dying.
I feel so stupid sometimes. Obviously I don't understand cause and effect relationships. It is good to overthrow a dictator in Iraq to infuse democracy into the region, but it's also good to turn a blind eye to a dictator in Cambodia who kills millions? I mean, the country is known for KILLING FIELDS. COME ON.
And it is good to kill a man for essentially masterminding the deaths of around 3000 people . . . but to stamp out the cause of death of at LEAST 3000 people a DAY? Is THAT worthwhile?
See what I mean - the things that make sense to me seem to be fairly low priority.
But hey, Osama's dead. That shit should put food in the bellies of the malnourished, right? Good thing we did that one first. And in record time, too. I mean, it took far longer to apprehend Saddam . . .
Can I also, stupidly, take time to point out that BOTH men were once US allies? If this pattern keeps up, I think we as Canadians should rethink our ties to the south . . . ( http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,450997-2,00.html )
Ok. Enough sarcasm and satire for now. More than anything else, I am so very saddened by the mentality that violence can bring about good. Unless you're God and the violence involved is the death of Your Son, killing someone rarely has the intent you meant for it. Just ask the Pharisees. Just as killing Americans did NOT make the nation crumble as Osama thought it would, killing Osama will NOT make every young Muslim say, "Hey. This is stupid."
You don't beat violence with violence. You conquer it with something far greater . . .
4.09.2011
kingdom come
sometimes i want to use words to say these things that i just . . . feel, inside, in that part of you that just intuitively knows stuff and thinks stuff. we call it the gut, and i'm sure other cultures have called it different things.
at any rate, music is really the only way i've found to even begin to convey what it is i think or sense of feel when i think or sense or feel what i'm trying to convey . . . convoluted, right? i'll try again.
i have this deep, abiding hope that all will work out in the end. i can't really articulate what i base this on, because it precedes anything i learned about God, but certainly He plays a central role in it. it's captured, a bit, by the benediction "and they lived happily ever after" . . . that we all learned so well as children and promptly forgot as adults because it didn't seem to fit into what we saw happening around us. what if they DO live happily ever after? what if i could be a part of they? is that too crazy? and what if happily ever after starts right here, right now, with the story we're all caught up in every day of our lives . . . ?
here are some links to songs that feel like what i'm trying to get across . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS7cz5jpPf8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5wOHIi7xCU&annotation_id=annotation_307340&feature=iv
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hre5fkdq-0&feature=related (minus the little bit at the end - those who have seen the show know why it's there, but to me, for this blog, it's not part of the song that i treasure )
at any rate, i feel a little bit better get this out, because it IS something that feels like it needs to get out
at any rate, music is really the only way i've found to even begin to convey what it is i think or sense of feel when i think or sense or feel what i'm trying to convey . . . convoluted, right? i'll try again.
i have this deep, abiding hope that all will work out in the end. i can't really articulate what i base this on, because it precedes anything i learned about God, but certainly He plays a central role in it. it's captured, a bit, by the benediction "and they lived happily ever after" . . . that we all learned so well as children and promptly forgot as adults because it didn't seem to fit into what we saw happening around us. what if they DO live happily ever after? what if i could be a part of they? is that too crazy? and what if happily ever after starts right here, right now, with the story we're all caught up in every day of our lives . . . ?
here are some links to songs that feel like what i'm trying to get across . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS7cz5jpPf8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5wOHIi7xCU&annotation_id=annotation_307340&feature=iv
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hre5fkdq-0&feature=related (minus the little bit at the end - those who have seen the show know why it's there, but to me, for this blog, it's not part of the song that i treasure )
at any rate, i feel a little bit better get this out, because it IS something that feels like it needs to get out
4.02.2011
sara in the sky with diamonds
She probably doesn't realize I'm doing this right now ( and is currently singing her own rendition of Tubthumping : " Sara gets knocked down, but she gets up again . . . . " ), but I'm writing out a little blog about one of my favorite people in the world right now.
There's a Final Four match going on in the background, in my room - Butler is leading VCU by three - and Sara is whistling a Christmas tune ( what are the odds), and the only other noise is the clacking of the keys and the little alert from her phone that she has a text message.
I friggin love Sara. So much.
Today has been an awesome day. In the three years since I first met Sara, I think we've got to a point where no matter what we do, we have the time of our lives doing it. Today we walked to a 7/11 in the snow, pushed a car out, took one on the chin (that was her, not me), and kinda just cozied up in front of a fireplace and watched Friday Night Lights . . .
We are now arguing over how to sing the chorus of Fare Thee Well Love.
I write this because, since we are both human beings, there will probably be a time in our friendship when we aren't close. I will do something stupid, or she will misunderstand something I did, or I'll misread a situation, or any of the plethora of ways that a relationship can go sour. And, well (ha), I wanted to kinda preserve today a bit.
Today was the day we worked her name into every song. And it was hilarious, fun, and perfect.
Thanks, Champ, for being a friend. I'm a much better human being because I met you.
3.06.2011
today is the greatest day i've ever known
dance with me
oh lover of my soul
to the song of all songs . . .
oh lover of my soul
to the song of all songs . . .
So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
Today was one of those days I wish I could freeze and playback whenever I need to. Maybe this act of jotting down just what today meant to me will serve to accomplish that . . .
Though there are many things that bring me delight in life, nothing comes anywhere close to playing the drums for me. There's many reasons why - I love the physicality of it, the fact that there are intricacies to it that mean you can play the same song a plethora of ways and it still sounds good, the freedom of motion, the ability to impact a song in a way so different from any other instrument . . . But really, the biggest draw to the drums for me is that I can't do it on my own. Drums sound at their best when accompanying other instruments, and they never sound good if they're drowning everyone out. It's a secondary part of a song - vital, sure, but rarely focal. It serves as a great metaphor for the lessons I've been learning over the past few years about how I fit in to this Body of Christ called the Church.
Today, in church, we were tight. I loved how we sounded. I loved playing with a group of talented musicians and great friends. I loved playing The Stand, which has a drum solo bit, but it's such a complimentary solo that it never feels like I'm taking over forcefully.
I loved sharing the Eucharist with my family at Abundant Life.
I loved the phone call with my mom.
I loved hanging out with Sara, who is one of my best friends in the whole wide world.
I loved listening to Dance with Me by Jesus Culture while writing this.
I loved sharing every moment with the One Who gets me better than anyone else, the One I am so ridiculously in love with . . .
And, well, I just had to say something.
Though there are many things that bring me delight in life, nothing comes anywhere close to playing the drums for me. There's many reasons why - I love the physicality of it, the fact that there are intricacies to it that mean you can play the same song a plethora of ways and it still sounds good, the freedom of motion, the ability to impact a song in a way so different from any other instrument . . . But really, the biggest draw to the drums for me is that I can't do it on my own. Drums sound at their best when accompanying other instruments, and they never sound good if they're drowning everyone out. It's a secondary part of a song - vital, sure, but rarely focal. It serves as a great metaphor for the lessons I've been learning over the past few years about how I fit in to this Body of Christ called the Church.
Today, in church, we were tight. I loved how we sounded. I loved playing with a group of talented musicians and great friends. I loved playing The Stand, which has a drum solo bit, but it's such a complimentary solo that it never feels like I'm taking over forcefully.
I loved sharing the Eucharist with my family at Abundant Life.
I loved the phone call with my mom.
I loved hanging out with Sara, who is one of my best friends in the whole wide world.
I loved listening to Dance with Me by Jesus Culture while writing this.
I loved sharing every moment with the One Who gets me better than anyone else, the One I am so ridiculously in love with . . .
And, well, I just had to say something.
2.21.2011
The Adventure
here we go
life's waiting to begin . .
I love Angels and Airwaves. Go listen to The Adventure right now. Or not, really. I'm not going to know either way. But if you do, and especially if it's your first time hearing it, you'll know you discovered one of those encapsulating songs that says more than its lyrics, as though talking to a part of you you're not always sure of yourself . . .
Maybe I'm a crazy optimist, and maybe I'm fairly stupid at times in my persistent belief that all things will be made right, but, well, I can't help but be bouyed by hope no matter what happens in life.
I'm entering into a new chapter in life, and the fear is there . . . but it's not a fear of failing, a fear of making a mistake, a fear of screwing up. No, it's a fear of doing nothing with this passion in me . . .
life's waiting to begin . .
I love Angels and Airwaves. Go listen to The Adventure right now. Or not, really. I'm not going to know either way. But if you do, and especially if it's your first time hearing it, you'll know you discovered one of those encapsulating songs that says more than its lyrics, as though talking to a part of you you're not always sure of yourself . . .
Maybe I'm a crazy optimist, and maybe I'm fairly stupid at times in my persistent belief that all things will be made right, but, well, I can't help but be bouyed by hope no matter what happens in life.
I'm entering into a new chapter in life, and the fear is there . . . but it's not a fear of failing, a fear of making a mistake, a fear of screwing up. No, it's a fear of doing nothing with this passion in me . . .
2.14.2011
Valentine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day
Just a quick read shows us that what this day started out as has no connection to Eros, or Cupid, or Romance. Yet that doesn't change the fact that it is, now, very much a day to celebrate your loved one.
I am single. It's funny how innocent those words look right now, yet at 2 in the morning, they can keep me up, and when I think about where I am in my life, they can haunt me.
won't you dance with me
O Lover of my soul
to the song of all songs?
And yet right now, I'm exactly where I need to be. I've called my beautiful mom, told her I loved her and asked her to relay that to my sisters this morning with a hug and a kiss attached for each. I woke up this morning so in love with a God who loves me like no one else will ever be able to, and found myself once again in the middle of my very own Great Romance . . .
So while I celebrate with those of my friends and family who have that special someone, the one whose smile lights up their life, for me, I celebrate this love today, and wait patiently for when I play my part in that image of this Romance . . .
2.07.2011
sojourner
I love horizons. I love conquering them and then searching for new ones. I get restless fast. I like challenging myself to do things I've never done before. I want to be a gourmet chef, an airline pilot, a drummer in a semi famous band, a monk, a published author, a shrimpin boat captain, a breakdancer, a parkourer (parkourist?).
I want to marry the most beautiful woman in the world and wake up beside her every morning, yearning for another adventure. I want her deep laugh to mix with mine daily, to not let a day go by without holding her hand on a walk around the block or wherever, really; I want to make 3 or 4 babies with her, and spend a good deal of time practicing it; I want those dear little kiddies to roll around in the grass with me, let me sweep them up in my arms when I come home from work and be content to sit outside and watch the stars dance in the summer sky and basically never grow up even if they get older.
I want to always be enchanted when I look in her eyes. I kind of think I will be.
I want to spend every day in full expectancy of the very best God has to offer, even if and when it takes the form of what I would think is the very worst that life could have. I want to always be alert for opportunities to be an angel in disguise, to do the little things that stick out in peoples minds when they wonder if God exists or not . . . "if God doesn't exist and isn't good, what about that angel who pushed my car out of the snow when everyone else downtown was walking by?" (true story - happened today. Next time I will wear gloves).
I want to always be amazed by God. I kind of think I will be. I want to fall more and more in love with Him, that rapturous love that makes fireworks into sparks and turns every little detail into an exquisite work of art, makes it so that ordinary is a word I no longer know.
I want to never feel like I have settled. Ever. For anything.
I want to bathe in solitude, drink deeply from that peace that comes from knowing your own soul well, and not only liking but enjoying, loving, and cherishing what you find there. I want to always embrace alone times, times of still when I know He is God. I want to be able to do this on the side of a mountain, as my eyes drift off to my nocturnal date with Morpheus, as I walk in a crowd.
I want to always travel, even if I never leave my house.
I want to marry the most beautiful woman in the world and wake up beside her every morning, yearning for another adventure. I want her deep laugh to mix with mine daily, to not let a day go by without holding her hand on a walk around the block or wherever, really; I want to make 3 or 4 babies with her, and spend a good deal of time practicing it; I want those dear little kiddies to roll around in the grass with me, let me sweep them up in my arms when I come home from work and be content to sit outside and watch the stars dance in the summer sky and basically never grow up even if they get older.
I want to always be enchanted when I look in her eyes. I kind of think I will be.
I want to spend every day in full expectancy of the very best God has to offer, even if and when it takes the form of what I would think is the very worst that life could have. I want to always be alert for opportunities to be an angel in disguise, to do the little things that stick out in peoples minds when they wonder if God exists or not . . . "if God doesn't exist and isn't good, what about that angel who pushed my car out of the snow when everyone else downtown was walking by?" (true story - happened today. Next time I will wear gloves).
I want to always be amazed by God. I kind of think I will be. I want to fall more and more in love with Him, that rapturous love that makes fireworks into sparks and turns every little detail into an exquisite work of art, makes it so that ordinary is a word I no longer know.
I want to never feel like I have settled. Ever. For anything.
I want to bathe in solitude, drink deeply from that peace that comes from knowing your own soul well, and not only liking but enjoying, loving, and cherishing what you find there. I want to always embrace alone times, times of still when I know He is God. I want to be able to do this on the side of a mountain, as my eyes drift off to my nocturnal date with Morpheus, as I walk in a crowd.
I want to always travel, even if I never leave my house.
2.05.2011
Love 146
Also.
New background here is courtesy of love146.org . . . again, what with February being all about hearts and love, I thought I'd have something here that tugs at my heart, something that stirs the love deep inside me like few things in this world . . .
Go ahead and check them out if you haven't already.
New background here is courtesy of love146.org . . . again, what with February being all about hearts and love, I thought I'd have something here that tugs at my heart, something that stirs the love deep inside me like few things in this world . . .
Go ahead and check them out if you haven't already.
2.04.2011
agape . . . amore . . .
February is Valentine's Day. I know, I know, the 14th doesn't last all month, but really, outside of Wiarton, Ontario and Punxatawney, PA, the only really big day in February that happens every year is V-Day.
Currently watching clips of Desmond and Penny from Lost . . . and I gotta say, I don't really know a whole lot in this thing called life. Not anymore, at any rate. But I do know that if you have found that person you know you're going to love for the rest of your life, you treasure that. You hold onto it, you nurture it, you cherish it . . . and if you haven't, but you know people who have, you celebrate it with them.
So to all my friends who are lovers and with their loved ones, I celebrate your love with you this month. Well, everyday, really, but especially now.
And to those who think that v-day single = worst thing ever, there are many avenues to express your love. Find one and do it with all you have, passionately, recklessly, wholly.
Currently watching clips of Desmond and Penny from Lost . . . and I gotta say, I don't really know a whole lot in this thing called life. Not anymore, at any rate. But I do know that if you have found that person you know you're going to love for the rest of your life, you treasure that. You hold onto it, you nurture it, you cherish it . . . and if you haven't, but you know people who have, you celebrate it with them.
So to all my friends who are lovers and with their loved ones, I celebrate your love with you this month. Well, everyday, really, but especially now.
And to those who think that v-day single = worst thing ever, there are many avenues to express your love. Find one and do it with all you have, passionately, recklessly, wholly.
1.06.2011
new year
2011 . . .
dang
it's funny, where we figure we were gonna be by a certain point in time, what kind of job we were gonna have, the financial stability we were working for now a reality and well on our chosen career path.
i had a little dream once, where i was a fantastic youth pastor with a lovely wife who worked together to infuse meaning and beauty into the lives of people around them. every day was another adventure, and every day was filled with equal parts laughter, joy, tears, hurt, and healing.
in the front of my bible, i have written, among other things, the following:
Sometimes our dreams have to die so His plans can go forward
and 2010 was about letting dreams die . . . or, more so, finally acknowledging that certain dreams had been dead for a long time. while having the courage to dream some new ones, some that i may have never dreamed were it not for other dreams no longer being played around in my head.
i have this feeling that 2012 will find me bidding farewell to other dreams, and i don't think this is a bad thing. i think as we all evolve as people, we need to realize that some of the things we thought were so worthy of pursuit are like fireflies in comparison to stars - they are so very temporary, while the actual light that has captivated us may not be as near our reach, but will prove so much more worth the challenge of pursuing it.
i sometimes talk a little cryptic here, a little vague and ambiguous, but i don't want to just tell you what my thoughts on things mean to me - fill in your own meaning where you see fit. i don't have all the answers, but i hope you enjoy whatever journey you're on, and if anything i say is helpful, then you're welcome :) we're all in this thing called life together.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)