profound for profundity's sake . . .

. . . which I hope this isn't, and I hope I never have been. I know I kinda go in circles with my thoughts; that is, that I often repeat similar trains of thought at a later date, but I hope that in so doing I don't come across as trying to just "be deep". It's more a process of working things out by getting them out there so others can see what it is and possibly comment on it then an attention grab. I mean, really, who looks for attention through a blog?

Today finds me content enough to enjoy the present but far too restless to stay here. I get these urges to move every so often, to chase some grand dream somewhere, regardless of the destination or the cost, and while it sounds reckless, it is the very recklessness of it all that makes me come alive. Impractical, perhaps, and possibly smacking of a bit of licentiousness ( I can do it no matter what it is provided it gives me that rush of living) . . . except the grand dreams I have involve radical ways to make the world a better place, not cocaine fueled sex binges of orgiastic proportions. For example.

If there are any absurdists out there, I think sometimes I can relate. I would only add the caveat that a search for meaning in life is SEEMINGLY pointless at times, not actually pointless. Deep down, I think it is essentially to the act of living to discover why one exists, and, in finding it, to live it out as dangerously as possible.

I think if they handed out safety gear for life, I wouldn't wear it. You know? Like a bike helmet for biking, a seat belt for driving . . . if there is a safe way to live, I don't want to do it. Reckless.