daddy . . .

I'm tired . . .

I'm tired of the way sitcoms portray fathers.

I'm tired of the way father's day is the butt end of jokes, and mother's day is about respecting the one who brought you into this world . . .

Don't get me wrong - I'm not advocating a denigration of women. Far from it. If anything, this is a call out to men to grow a set and change the way we're perceived. There is a reason the bumbling idiot father resonates - it's because we've HAD bumbling idiot fathers. Maybe not all of us, but they HAVE been there. And while I would be the last person to devalue the role a mother plays in her child's life, can I call out the absentee fathers out there?

Where are you? What was so important that you missed her first words, his first steps, their first day of school, her first date, the first time he asked someone out on a date, all those times your kids needed you?

I sound angry, but I'm too tired to be angry. I feel a bit like in those dreams where you run and you run, but you move slower the harder you try. I think that by constantly showing fathers and fatherhood in a negative light, we send messages to dads that, ultimately, it doesn't matter. You're a non factor whose input isn't needed, because as long as mom does a good job, the kids'll be fine.

Now, I'm the man I am today largely because of my mom. And I get Jennifer Aniston's take on single motherhood, and I just want to say that I'm not speaking about the absence of fathers as being always negative . . . but fathers who are physically present but may as well be absent? That kills a kid.

Because I know I can't change the world on my own, I figure for now, I'ma learn how to be a good dad, so when the time comes, I won't have to fake it. But any little one who comes to call me "daddy" will know they are loved, will know that I think they are the best at anything they do, and will know that I'll always be there for them.